Chapter Twenty Four

Finding Freyja’s house took Hep and Scroat about twenty minutes. It was a charming little yellow house, with carefully tended landscaping. The driveway ran up next to the house, where there was a side entrance. When they parked, they were able to see a pen with a boar in Freyja’s back. The boar was laying along the side of it’s pen closest to the driveway, and watched Hep and Scroat with lazy interest.

“Hey there, Bacon,” Scroat said. “Are you going to be joining us for dinner tonight?”

Hep smacked him on the shoulder, and said, with some urgency, “That’s not a good boar to taunt.”

“Whatever. Just kidding, boar!” Scroat said.

The two of them went to the side door of Freyja’s house. The knocker was heavy iron, in the shape of Thor’s hammer. It struck the door with a deep THUMP when dropped.

“I like her knocker,” Hep said.

“Which one?” Scroat said.

“Funny,” Hep said. “Can you try to show a little class while we’re here?”

“I can try, but I have to admit, I’m not likely to succeed,” Scroat said.

They heard footsteps approaching the door, and then Freyja was there, standing in the open doorway. She had long, straw colored hair reaching most of the way down her back, pale, pale skin, and deep blue eyes that seemed to look right through Hep and Scroat. She was almost too beautiful to look at.

“Um, uh, hi, Freyja,” Hep said.

“Yeah, hi,” Scroat said.

“Hello Hep and Scroat. Come in, come in, the coffee has just finished brewing,” Freyja said. She stood aside so they could walk through the door, then shut it behind them. “Welcome to my home. Would you mind taking your boots off?”

“Oh, yeah, OK,” Hep said. He looked around at the room they were in. It seemed they were in her living room. There were a large number of decorations made of woven straw hanging from the walls, as well as painted wooden horses scattered about on shelves and end tables. Freyja had several candles burning, and the room smelled strongly of bread and cinnamon. The furniture looked like it was rarely used, but was spotlessly clean. Impressive, considering there was a large cat laying on the couch, and a similarly sized cat laying on the arm of a chair.

“Let’s go into the kitchen. It’s more comfortable for coffee,” Freyja said. “I’ve got some cookies I just made last night as well.”

She led them into the kitchen. Hep and Scroat followed behind, unable to keep their eyes off of her figure. Her dress was modest, but did not hide the fact that there was a warrior woman underneath.

The kitchen was also spotless. There was a small table with four chairs around it, made out of a light colored wood. The walls were papered with a yellow and white pattern. Her stove looked as though it had been made in the 1950’s. It was very light blue.

“Please, have a seat at the table, I’ll pour the coffee,” she said.

Hep and Scroat sat down, and watched as she poured the coffee, and brought the three mugs to the table on a small tray, along with cream, sugar cubes, and a small plate of ginger cookies. She sat down, and handed each of them a cup of coffee, then offered the cookies

“Thank you,” Hep said, and took one.

“So, you’re looking for Inktomi, huh?” Freyja said. “What on Earth would you want to see him for?”

“I gather you’re not a big fan of his?” Hep said. He took a bite of his cookie, then said, “this is fantastic!”

“No, I’m not a fan of his. I don’t have much time for tricksters, anymore,” she said, and looked pointedly at Scroat. “And bad news always seemed to follow Inktomi. One house after another burnt down. But never mind that. Why do you want to find him?”

“Well, he might have burnt our house down,” Hep said.

Freyja looked surprised, then concerned, and said, “Oh I’m sorry to hear that. I hope no one was hurt.”

“No one that we know of,” Hep said. “There didn’t seem to be anyone around when we got home to find the place burning. And our house is in the middle of nowhere, so it’s not likely anyone was close enough to get hurt anyhow.”

“Well, I suppose that’s good,” Freyja said. She took a sip of her coffee, and primly set her cup down. “So Inktomi just up and disappeared after your house caught on fire?”

“Yeah. He was housesitting while we were traveling, and we got home just in time to watch the last bits of our house burn away. I’m kind of torn between wanting to kick his butt, and wanting to just know he’s OK.”

Freyja gave a sardonic laugh, touched Hep’s hand, and said, “I know exactly how you feel. You haven’t, by any chance, seen Odr during your travels, have you? The son of a bitch disappeared again about two hundred years ago, and I keep hoping to see him again every day, although I’m not sure if I’ll kill him or tear his clothes off when I do see him.” She looked around, as if to see if anyone was listening, and then whispered, “But between you and me, I’ll probably tear his clothes off. I can always kill him later.”

By the time they’d finished their coffee, it was nearly six o’clock. Hep had noticed the clock a few minutes earlier, and was beginning to worry about where they were going to sleep that night. It would be an awfully long haul back to Brainerd, and he didn’t want to impose on Thor’s hospitality. They were no strangers to finding a quiet spot to park and sleeping under the stars, but Hep expected it was going to get pretty cold once the sun had gone down. He tried to recall if there had been a motel in town, or nearby, then figured there must be given all the outdoorsmen who would come up here for hunting season.

For his part, Scroat was just worried about where they would be getting their next meal. He figured they should get moving soon to be sure they could secure another order of fried cheese curds before they had to go to sleep.

Almost as if she could tell what they were thinking, Freyja looked up at the clock and said, “Oh, my, it’s getting late already! You two will have to stay for dinner. I can throw something together quick.”

“No, no, that’s OK,” Hep said. Scroat kicked him under the table.

“It’s no trouble. You must stay. I have some bratwurst and can fry some potatos in no time at all,” Freyja said.

“Well, if you’re sure, that would be great,” Hep said. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

“No,” Freyja said. “Why don’t you go hang out in the living room, and I’ll have dinner ready in no time at all.”
“Great, thanks!”

They went into Freyja’s living room. Hep took a seat on the couch, while Scroat sat on the other chair in the room, the one not occupied by a gigantic cat. The cat that had been laying on the couch got up and climbed onto Hep’s lap, then laid down again. The other cat just stared at Scroat distrustfully.

“Man, none of the pussies in this house have any love for me,” Scroat said.

“You seem to have that problem everywhere,” Hep said.

The smell of cooking onions and sausage had their mouths watering a few minutes later. Before long, Freyja came to the doorway and told them dinner was ready. Hep shooed the cat off his lap as gently as he could. The cat protested with a curt meow, but got up and found a new spot to lay on the couch.

“I see you’ve made another friend, Hep,” Freya said. She smiled slightly.

“I suppose so,” Hep said. “Wow, dinner smells terrific.”

“Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it,” Freyja said.

Along with the bratwurst and potatoes, Freyja poured each of them a large glass of beer.

“I love you fucking Vikings,” Scroat said.

“Well, thank you, I suppose,” Freyja said.

Hep finished a big mouthful of potatoes and sausage and said, “Yum. So, uh, Freyja. I don’t mean to be rude, but what’s with the Suzy Homemaker persona? Don’t you take half the dead from battle?”

Freyja coughed slightly, and took a drink of beer.

“Well, that’s a little forward of you, Hep,” Freyja said. He blushed slightly, but didn’t look away. “But I suppose it’s a fair question. You were probably expecting to find my house was more similar to Thor’s than Betty Crocker’s. And I think there’s a simple answer for that. After several thousand years of being a warrior babe, if you will, a little civility is comforting.”

“Fair enough,” Hep said.

Freyja winked seductively at him. “If you want, we could arm wrestle later.”

After they’d finished eating, and had consumed several more glasses of beer, Freyja asked where the two of them were planning to stay that night.

“I’m not exactly sure. I think we’ll probably just find a motel, or we can always just park and sleep next to the bikes. We’ve done it plenty of times.”

“Well, you won’t be doing any such thing tonight. I’ve got a guest room with two comfy beds in it and I haven’t had a guest in it for years. You two will stay here. It’s decided.”

Hep and Scroat looked at each other. Scroat shrugged.

“Well, OK, that sounds great!” Hep said. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Freyja said. “Come on, I’ll show you the room.”

She led them out of the kitchen and down a short hallway to a cozy room. The walls were paneled with dark wood, and there were two single beds, one alone the wall on either side of the room.

“You can bring your things in here, and then we’ll play cards,” she said.